Broken world Broken healer

In a broken world, built from shattered stones and ripped lands,

must the healer know the pain and feel the loneliness on which he must walk?

In a broken world, inhabited by torn people and splintered love,

must the healer know the anguish and feel the loss which she must embrace?

In the numb silence and the sleepless nights,

broken healer stand and hold my hand.

In the hollow grief and empty dreams,

broken healer stand and hold my hand.

In the sorrow bring new joy,
In the ending bring new hope.

Lent

“Look after yourself”, they say,

“have some you time!”

In the solitude the noise only amplifies,

The loneliness born in the night swells in the emptiness.

Scratching at the raw earth, fingertips crying for contact,

Wild sounds filling the vocal gap.

Deep into the desert.

Deep into the wild place.

Where I am supposed to find myself,

At least that’s what they say!

Maybe they’re right,

Maybe there will be a sound

Deep within,

A sound that makes some sense.

Behind my competing stories,

Beneath it all.

Maybe not,

Maybe this serves only to prove to me my need for another,

Even others.

Maybe that is what I need to learn?

Maybe that is what I need to find?

Maybe that is why I’m here?

Maybe soon I’ll know.

Ash Wednesday

Today I burn the things which pull me back into the old me.

The shame and guilt I feel for failures past,

Things I know I should have done better,

Things I know I should never have done.

Things I did in anger or selfishness,

Without due thought for others or rightful care.

Things I did in fear or panicked haste,

Without due thought to unforeseen consequences.

Things I did in response to my own nagging doubts and demons,

Without due thought for where they may take or leave me.

I burn the obsessions and preoccupations that refuse to let me grow into the me that you see,

The pattern behaviours and co-dependencies that keep me anchored,

The wounds and tears that I cannot allow to heal,

The scabs I delight in picking off before their time.

The habits and addictions that I hold to from fear and insecurity.

I burn the desires I know are harmful,

The ambitions that persuade me that it’s ok to stand on others,

That allow me to minimise the gifts of others for my gain.

That emerge from greed, pride and competitiveness.

I burn these things and I mark myself with ash,

As a welcome to true vulnerability and humility.

In the ashes there is a new life,

life dependent on love, on simple truth and righteousness.

I commit to this life,

Free from guilt and shame,

Free from anger and fear,

Free from greed and pride.