God who is misunderstood

God who is misunderstood,

May we find our understanding in you.

May others judge us for being too kind, and condemn us for giving too much.

Let people look at us and laugh at what fools we are for exposing our brokenness,

And dismiss us as idiots for caring, for risking everything to see another smile.

May they ridicule us for our tears and rubbish us for our bleeding hearts.

Lord, as they stare and point because we refuse to worship the god of self, and won’t bow down to appease the god of greed, may we look up and smile contented.

May love be our downfall in the eyes of those who look at us, and peace be our weakness.

Let those who attack us do it because we stand undefended, and because we welcome them for who they are.

May our homes be not our own and our lives a gift to others even when they show no respect or gratitude.

When we hand over the things we value and give away what we have worked for may we welcome the grabbing hands.

Lord, when you take what you have given us to offer someone else, help us trust in your wisdom for their sake.

May we find our understanding in you,

God who is misunderstood.

Friends

Through the pleated folded shroud,

My personal projection,

I look upon the polished crowd.

Souls with a connection.

To seek a ricochet of me,

See an image bouncing back,

to paint my picture primary,

In contrast to the black.

More richly saturated,

Not my tired and beaten frame,

No more worn or torn or faded,

By doubts I chose to name.

A dream that flutters, spins, wheels,

Blown by the mornings cast,

Try to catch it, grasp the real,

hold on and make it fast.

And if I look at them I see,

If I can only dare,

The best of who I’m made to be,

A future me we share.

(Nb. Rhyme is really not my strong point!)

Finding rest…

After an intense week, I’m sat on the train thinking about rest, the chap opposite is fast asleep and snoring, whilst curled up in what looks like the most uncomfortable position. We all have to find rest however we can, and we all find rest in different ways. Rest isn’t just about recharging, although that is an important part of life, and some of use are recharged by company, some by solitude etc. But, rest is much more than that. Rest, is an outcome of security and love. It’s not just the body that needs rest. Every part of us needs to find a state of peace if we are to survive and thrive in a hectic world, a world where the pressure to be ‘on it’ can be intense. Sleep is part of rest, but it’s a fragile part and in many ways is a product of rest! I cannot sleep unless I am at rest. Of my mind or my spirit is in turmoil, sleep is a battle, sometimes one I cannot win. So, it is vital to understand what rest is to me if I am going to be able to sleep, never mind be recharged.

Rest is often about escaping the insecurity of identity and/or faith. If I can find escape from the nagging self doubts and existential panics that can plague all of us at times then I find rest. Rest can be in a good book, a film, a mountain walk, the arms of a lover, in meditation/prayer, even in silence. It’s in the place where insecurity and performance are irrelevant, where the mind and the spirit are stilled and at peace, where I need only be me with no expectation or judgement, where there is no place for performance anxiety! Rest is an outcome of peace and peace is an outcome of love. May you find love, peace and rest.

and then you smiled

I saw your cheeks break and crease,
your eyes flash wide as the light bounced in,
a tide of colour softly flowed over your skin,
and there you were.
some didn’t see it, they weren’t looking,
but I was, and I saw.
I saw the joy split the shell of all that stress,
and there she was, the child,
peaking out and looking straight at me,
She came to play, to sing, to spin.
She came to shake off the struggle, to dance,
and there you were in the moment, freed.
The strength it took even to be there,
to make that choice and stand,
and then to let the smile live,
to give it breath and heat,
to give it space,
to give it you.
And then I saw it fly.
it touched me,
it broke me,
and I smiled too.